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March 27, 2015

My Girl Friends Make Me Feel Insecure for Not Wearing Makeup

On Ask Madge this week: What to do when your friends start dropping you hint that you should wear makeup? Got any question? Write to us.

by Magdalene

Dear Madge,
I’m not a girl who likes to wear makeup. I find it troublesome. The most I do is put on chapstick or lipstick and I’m ready to go. But my girl friends are making me insecure recently for giving me makeup kits, as if telling me something. And it’s not a rare occasion that they insinuate how men prefer women who wear makeup, so this single lady is questioning herself on this matter. What to do?

If you don’t like wearing makeup, then don’t let others tell you otherwise. I personally don’t like to spend a lot of time primping myself. Having said that, I do think that we should at least look presentable, not to impress men (or other women) but to respect ourselves and other people. You don’t like seeing sloppy looking guys, either, do you? So, maybe a bit of facial powder or lip-gloss would suffice.
The makeup issue is indeed a tricky thing. You can read about it in this piece our contributor wrote on the impossible double standard on effortless beauty.
I recently talked to a prominent psychologist who said that women often put on makeup to hide their flaws instead of accentuating their strengths. This approach of wearing makeup out of fear (of not getting men, for example) co-relates with the kind of men they often end up with. Men who like women who wear makeup usually focus heavily on physical attraction (in plain words: pretty shallow).
So, don’t worry about not getting a man if you don’t wear makeup. They’re probably not the kind of men you would like anyway. And if your girl friends start to bug you again about it, snap back at them with this mantra: “I don’t have anything to hide.”
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